Hello beautiful people, I’ve put together a list on seven remarkable things to come out of Nigeria and I’ll like to share it with you.
- Puff puff: This is the undisputed champion right here… the symbol of everything good, a sign that things will turn out alright, the savior of lost souls. I think saying puff puff is disrespectful sef, it doesn’t cover its level of awesomeness, I might just add Mr. to emphasize its importance. What I don’t know is why we don’t have a National puffpuff day. To people who are doubtful, a trial will convince you and win you over; let’s just say if puffpuff contested in the last elections, by now we will not be saying the same story.
- CNA: No, this is not an anagram of ACN, it is the acronym of Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Hei!!! She is the real Omalicha! Always making sense, always slaying. This woman makes me happy to be a Nigerian
- Jollof rice: Now some (conspiracy theorists) have said Jollof rice is a West African dish *smh*, but there’s Jollof rice and then there is JOLLOF RICE; the correct Nigerian jollof, the one you’ll eat and forget all your problems. In fact, I should start a petition, one hundred signatures and our current coat of arms will be replaced with a picture of jollof rice complete with fried plantain and chicken. Goodness!! Any Nigerian that cannot cook this culinary masterpiece should have his/her citizenship withdrawn. Simple. #Jollofwinsit
- David Oyelowo et al: Our talented brothers and sisters (yes I’m famzing, sue me) including: Uzoamaka Aduba, Chiwetel Ejiofor, David Oyelowo, Adewale Agbaje etc make me proud. Awa people steady repping…. Some bad belle people will now want to tell me that those people have Nigerian heritage, that they are of other nationalities……. Loooool, Nigerian heritage o, Nigerian citizen o, Nigeria is sha there. Tell me your head doesn’t swell when you see them winning awards.
- Pangolo music: This is the best representation of Nigeria if you ask me; all noise, no substance. But the noise ehnnnn… is a joyful noise, you will hear it and your body just moves of its own accord. I don’t know why we are still sticking with our current national anthem sef, how many people know it offhand? Our national anthem should represent who we are, just let Lil Kesh and Olamide remix the national anthem and see how 90% of the populace will memorize it within a week. But really, our pangolo music is a coping mechanism in this country o, it is helpful in managing stress. I really don’t know what we’d have done without pangolo music; really, shoki makes everything better.
- Nollywood: Our beloved Nolly… So good that it has seven channels on Dstv; no joke,SEVEN!!! I’m sure some are thinking…. ‘But who comes up with the movie titles?’ I tell you, they are the most underrated and unappreciated people in Nollywood. It takes sheer brilliance to come with creative movie titles like: ‘Omoge facebook’, ‘Twitter babes’, ‘Amaka the groundnut seller’, ‘Nkechi in Lagos’ sequel to ‘Nkechi the village champion’. Then there are the divisions: Ghallywood, Yorrywood etc. Let’s not even go there. Honestly, a blogpost cannot begin to go into the deep end that is Nollywood, it probably deserves its own country.
- Nigerian tailors: this should read the most unreliable people in Nigeria.
Let me explain how the art of Nigerian tailoring works: if you need an outfit on the 25th of June, give the tailor the fabric on the 25th of March and tell the tailor you need it by May 2nd. Go to the tailor on the 16 th of May; you’ll most likely find your fabric in a pile with others, untouched. Make as much noise as possible and threaten the tailor, promise to come back in a week, go back there after 2 weeks (this is now the 30th of May). Now your outfit should be almost ready, your presence will make the tailor speed up. Go in a week for your final fitting and by the 20th of June, your outfit should be ready (if your tailor has the fear of God). It seems tedious but it’s not that complex. At least, we’ve gotten used to it
So there, my list of seven remarkable things from Nigeria. What’s yours?